Every relationship has missteps. What distinguishes healthy ones is how people repair them.
A Dismissive Apology
- “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
- “I said sorry already, can we move on?”
These shift focus away from the impact and can leave the other person feeling worse.
A Meaningful Apology
- Acknowledges the impact: “I can see that hurt you.”
- Accepts responsibility without excuses
- Includes changed behavior: “Next time I’ll do ____.”
An Example
After a disagreement about shared responsibilities: “I’m sorry I didn’t follow through on the cooking. I know that left you stressed, and I should have said something sooner. Next time I’ll tell you early if I can’t.”
Try this today: Think of one thing you could genuinely apologize for, and write the three parts above.
Give It Time
The other person may need time to respond. A good apology does not demand instant forgiveness.
If repair feels hard in your relationships, a therapist can help.
Learning to repair is one of the best investments you can make in a relationship. When you want support doing it, Trust Therapeutics is a good place to begin. Set up a session with us.
